It'll Get Better
by flower gettin' lady
Summary: Once she finally comes home, Lindsay has to deal with everything that's happened to her. Oneshot. Trigger warning: hints at abuse.


**AN: Yes, I watch soap operas on occasion. They're my guilty pleasure :) that, and since I when I found out Jenna-Louise Coleman was going to be the new Doctor Who companion I decided to watch everything she's ever been in. I only just discovered Waterloo Road, which is why this is being posted well after DW has started airing again.**

**Long story short, have an angst-y Lindsy fic. **

They let her off, in the end. Her lawyer pleads insanity, and the court agrees that five years of sexual abuse qualifies as enough psychological problems to cause her insanity. Lindsay wants to tell them that it's more than enough, that even one time was too much, _thank you very much_, but of course she doesn't. She nods, allows a little smile to show Ms. Mason she's grateful, and leaves. There's paperwork to sort out, legalities to muddle through, but once that's done they let her go home. Her mum isn't there - they've still got her sorting things out about her father and her own charges, leaving Lindsey on her own. She saw her mum in-between the two trials, her's and her mum's, but Lindsay still wishes her mum could be there.

Emily greets her with an embrace which Lindsay returns automatically, still in a daze. The house doesn't seem real, not after weeks in jail waiting for a trial. Em's mindless babble covers up the silence between them, comforting Lindsay and at the same time confirming that Emily has no idea how to cope either.

She makes it through an awkward supper and half an hour of TV before something inside just snaps, and she excuses herself to her room. The door's barely closed before she's sobbing into the sheets, every single memory from the last six years flooding through her mind. Her father is at the forefront of her mind; the way he used to look at her, _leer_ at her, how he used to treat her and how he grew rougher and harsher when she realized that what he was doing was wrong. He's burned on the insides of her eyelids, no matter how hard she tries to forget.

The sobs turn into wild, tormented screams, until her face is streaming and she can barely breathe. Everything that was ruined for her, everything he took away from her is painfully present. All the hate and fear and loathing she ever felt washes through her until she can't do anything but scream and cry and cling to the bedsheets as they shred underneath her fingernails.

For a time, she goes mad.

Emily lets her.

When the screams of agony quiet into soft, hiccuping sobs, Emily appears in her doorway and comes to sit on the bed. Her face is puffy from crying, and silent tears trickle down her face. Linsday is still shaking uncontrollably, the worst of the storm gone, but not over. Emily curls up next to her and shushes her until she can breathe again, and eventually no sound escapes her but the occasional hitch in her breath.

"I'm sorry, Linds." Emily says at last. "I really am. I... I wish I'd known, I would have done something about it."

Lindsay shakes her head. "No, you shouldn't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. I didn't want you to notice, I wanted to keep him away from you."

Emily sighs, rolling onto her side so she can face Lindsay. She bites her lip, eyes darting about anxiously as she tries to find the right words. "While you were being held in prison, I used to think about what would have happened. You know, if you and mum had gone shopping, if dad would've..."

"Don't you ever think about that, not ever." Lindsay tells her sternly. She doesn't want her sister ever to consider that possibility, especially with their dad in the ground. "You got me, Em? Never."

"I try not to, but the house was so lonely and all I could think of was all the terrible things that happened, and could have happened." Emily shuddered. "What I'm trying to say is... thank you, I guess. Not for... you know. Just for trying to keep me safe, trying to keep him away from me."

Lindsay doesn't answer, doesn't say 'you're welcome' because it's something she's not proud of and never will be. She lets out a shuddering sigh, rolling to her back and wearily pulling up the blanket around herself and Emily. "This is going to get better." She says at last, gazing up at the glow-in-the-dark stars plastered to her bedroom ceiling. She can remember putting them up when she was five. "I promise you. No matter what happens, you just remember that you can move past this, go on to do incredible things."

Emily smiles, head snuggling against her sister's shoulder as she drifts off to sleep. Lindsay lies there, staring at the fake stars until they slowly fade. The sense of hopelessness that hit her before is strangely gone. She's glad that Em will be able to put everything behind her. After all, she's young, and their dad never touched her. Lindsay knows it'll be a lot harder for herself to forget, but it doesn't seem so bad. She's spent from crying, far too exhausted to worry anymore. Their father is gone, their mum will be home soon, and both trials are over and done with. Everything will still be complicated and enormously scary, but eventually she'll get better, because it's finally over.

_It'll all be okay._


End file.
